It's been a while and my oh my how our lives have changed! As you can see from this picture here!
Long story short, we live now in Australia, i have two beautiful daughters and we are about to move to a 3 bedroom house. But that's not what you came here to read, short story? Hehee. :) So let's rewind a bit. PS! This might be long, so grab a preferred beverage (i'm having coffee as it's 5am right now), and let's get going.
Honest confession, i keep thinking maybe youtube would be easier. But then i have no idea how to edit videos or even what program to use. I just feel that talking all this out would be easier and i'd have way more content than once a year post :D But let's stick to writing now.
As you see from this picture, we had a baby! Another little girl. If you follow me on social media, you would have seen plenty of pictures of our new daughter Leah. She was born just few months ago. But before all that, worldwide pandemic happened. Oh dear!
So right after my last post, Covid happened. And my was it scary to begin with. Our plan to move to Australia got postponed, a bit. See we were living in Estonia, and felt God calling us back. Fully following God is sometimes hard, but we did that. We waited, got our tickets rebooked so many times, and we went. Flights were hard with a toddler and me just in early pregnancy, but thanks to covid, there was lots of space, so Sarah could actually lay down to sleep.
When we got here, we needed to do two week quarantine, in a hotel. With a pregnant woman and a toddler. Ugh, that was tough. Going from daily walks to two weeks in small space. And hey, if you have had a swab done from your nose and throat, that isn't pleasant either. But thank God, that we got here when we did. Soon after covid got worse in Estonia. And soon after government here in Australia started charging people for quaratine hotels. We got it for free! Thank you Jesus!
So we quarantined in a hotel in Sydney. Nothing overly evenftul, but we were glad when it was over! The first time stepping outside after spending two weeks indoors, oh joy! Peter's parents came to pick us up and after visiting family here, we drove to Coffs Harbour, where we live now.
My pregnancy went mostly okay. Had trouble with iron levels, but that's normal for me. I am still a stay at home mum and before Leah was born, that was easy and enjoyable. Peter has a new company he works for, but he still works from home, which is a massive blessing.
Leah, our second child, was born in february. The birth itself was mostly good. This time epidural (pain relief) worked really well. So they actually had to tell me when to push and when not to, because i wasn't feeling it. But then... then it got a bit scary. I was apparently bleeding. Like a lot. And Leah came out with cord around her neck, and she also had done a poo in my tummy, which is a danger for babies breathing. So she came out and was a bit limp. We had hoped for delayed cord clamping, and some calm relaxed skin to skin, but they had to snip the cord and took her to the side (in the same room), to help her get better. She was a bit blue, but alive! She didn't scream or cry and i cried. I cried in anticipation of that first cry of that pink colour. As the doctors were dealing with her, i was bleeding a lot. I lost two liters of blood during delivery due to a cervix tear. Few days later, when we were home, it hit me. I almost died. This amount of blood loss is usually treated with blood transfer. Thanks to an iron infusion late in pregnancy i didn't need that. Same way, Leah was thankfully alright, but her entry to this world was scary.
So, i am really grateful to be here. To be alive, to have a daughter who is here. And to have a husband who went through all that with me.
After Leah was born, i have really struggled with my health. Not because of the blood loss. But because my core is just so so weak after two pregnancies. I have back pain daily. I can't even carry my newborn. It just hurts. I struggle to remember to do exercises, but i am working on getting stronger. I have ab separation as well, which in turn makes back worse. But yeah, work in progress.
Also, since coming to Australia, we have lived with Peter's parents. I am so so grateful for that, because rental market in Coffs Harbour has been crazy competitive. We have seen rentals that are really yucky, but expensive. We have seen how affordable rentals have 30-40 people coming to view it. And we haven't found any, until recently. So almost 9 months later, we have somewhere we are going to move.
Peter's grandmother died at the age of 96 recently. And she was living with Peter's aunty. And now she is willing to rent that house to us. That's the short version of it. God works all things out in His time as we are seeing right now. We weren't accepted for any rentals even though we applied quite a lot. Probably because he had better plans for us. We will rent from a family member and it's the perfect size for us. So now, in a few weeks we are going to move. Still in the same town, just about 3km away from in-laws. AND close to a preschool too!
We signed up Sarah for preschool. She's on a waiting list now. And the house we are moving to, is just 15min walk from the preschool. We went to see it and i love it! I know it's a change for Sarah (who is turning three in the end of may), but it's necessary for me. Yes, i am a stay at home mum. But getting things done with a newborn and a toddler is challenging. So i am looking forward to that. I can teach her letters and stuff at home, but she really needs to learn more about social skills. Like sharing, making friends, and letting go of parents a bit. Until we get accepted to that school, we will practice with kids church on sunday's. Sendind her there without us. And that's challenging as well.
So how's life with two kids? Well, challenging is a good word for it. We have lots of emotions, mostly from Sarah. Especially because she's getting to an age where some days she's skipping her lunch nap. Which means by the evening she's a very tired and cranky toddler. But we are hanging in there. I have had to prioritize things. For example, shower every other day. Important. Laundry twice a week, doable. Vacuuming once a week. And home cooked meals 99% of days. Sometimes we have frozen pizza (well cooked of course :D), and that's okay too.
I can tell you that stress levels have gone up a lot. I struggle with self harm at times, and food addictions (mainly chocolate and ice-cream). I am still learning to care for me, because i was never taught that. I am learning to regulate my feelings while dealing with a toddlers feelings as well. I am learning to be patient with our toddler because she's learning a lot too. She doesn't know how to express feelings, when she feels upset, angry, frustrated. So things go sideways sometimes. We have hitting or yelling at times. And yesterday for example, "mummy is yucky yucky yucky".... And yes, that hurts my feelings at times, but it's all part of growing. We try our best to discipline her, to teach her.
One thing that really helps with Sarah is routine. She thrives in routine. Change is hard for her. So when we do encounter change, we have more big feelings and bad sleep. But it helps when we prepare her. For example we are already talking to her about moving soon, about going to school soon. So she would know. We to prepare work early. And buying things for school helps. So she can hopefully get excited instead of being scared of change.
Besides all that, we go to our local C3 church, which is lovely! We can actually go there, no masks and actually hug people! Living in a smaller town has it's benefits! We occasionally hang out with friends and family when we can.
As for my time with God. It has changed. Last time i wrote i was doing Bible journaling every day. Well, that's currently not happening. And i've had to be okay with things being different in this season. Which is hard to accept at times. You get used to something, and you set yourself expectations, but then life happens. Covid happens. Moving countries happens. Hot Australian summer happened. Tired mum life with two kids and health struggles happens. And time with God had to change, because otherwise i was just beating myself up for not doing what i used to do in a different season. So now, when i remember, i read a short devotional while having coffee. And when i can, i listen to worship music. Pray while falling asleep. Listen to podcasts while i crochet and pat my newborn to sleep. Because it's different season, i still try to fit God in there. Of course at times i miss the previous seasons. Change hasn't been hard for me. I adjust well with moving, changing houses etc. But changing seasons and setting new expectations and letting go of others, that's hard for me.
In all that, we are doing okay i think. People have said to me that i look good. So i must be doing something right as a mum and a wife and a friend :) It helps that Leah is a good sleeper. Even now, she's sleeping in a crib next to our bed. She often only wakes once or twice at night. While Sarah often has nights she wakes up more. And i've learned to just roll with the punches as they say. This too shall pass. They don't sleep, it's okay, they sleep next time.
So yeah, that was long wasn't it? Try putting a bit over a year into a blog post. Hehee. But hope you had fun reading it. Hope you appreciate this little snippet of our year and our news. Thanks for reading and may God bless you!