3 months pregnant
So today I am 3 months pregnant. Well officially 13 weeks and (checking her pregnancy app..) 2 days pregnant. It's been.. hmm interesting would be a good word.
Life has been fairly challenging. This is my first pregnancy and surely surely, I am super scared at times. And I am prone to worry. Like a lot. Because we all have heard horror stories of pregnancies. Or how something can go wrong. And all that. And whenever you feel something, or even when you don't, your mind decides to race 100km/h to all the wrong places. I believe God is trying to grow me in this time. Because I sure need to learn to trust Him more. Without trusting God, I don't think I could go through this.
Loving, serving and kind husband - who I am blessed to have - is also really really amazing! With God and Peter by my side, I have managed. But it's not been easy.
From the moment my period stopped and we found out that we are expecting, it's been physically challenging time for me. Pregnancy comes with all sorts of symptoms. For me, it started with heartburn, nausea (gladly no throwing up), constipation, and on top of that itchy skin. Which I've struggled with since, well can't remember. And physical challenges affect me mentally a lot! Some of this can become too much information for you, in which case you are welcome to scroll past or just close this window.
But yes, not going to the toilet as you used to, or going there so often to pee, well is challenging. Having heartburn and nausea almost daily - is annoying. For me, it wasn't morning sickness, but mostly in the evenings. And then there was also trouble sleeping. Often having very vivid dreams, or just waking up to pee, again.
And in all those physical challenges, which in times also made me cry from tiredness and just being generally annoyed at these struggles, how do you count the baby inside you as a joy and a blessing? THAT! has been my struggle for three months. It's been something I pray for and think about a lot. I mean, I know God is knitting baby together in my womb. I know it's a life's miracle to have a baby. And here I am struggling to see that. But I'd rather be truthful and honest, than pretend that it's all joy. I know it's a struggle and I am working on it.
At around middle of 11 weeks, there came a long-awaited relief from nausea! And I felt like coming out of a fog! Nausea was just gone. And I was feeling more energy. For a while. Right now, I struggle to find a good sleeping position. Taking heartburn tablets, but still have occasional heartburn. All sorts of places starting to ache. I feel heavier than I really am. It's a struggle at times to get up from bed or couch. There are those occasional sharp pains when you move the wrong way, down close to the uterus. And they are sharp! There's occasional sciatica that keeps annoying me. And that pain radiates from halfway down my back to my thigh.
BUT! There's also little moments of joy! We had our second ultrasound at 12 weeks. And as soon as the ultrasound lady put that machine on my tummy, the baby did a little movement swimming up and down my tummy! I giggled because it was such a joy to see the tiny human inside me move! The heart is beating, the baby is moving its arms and legs and that! is the greatest joy of all!
Through all this, my husband, well Peter has just been ah-maaazing! He's served me so selflessly and lovingly. Times when I have no energy and I'm grumpy and sad from all this physical stuff, he has made dinners, served me breakfast, done laundry and cleaned our room and so much more! Taken me away when I needed it. Put me to bed when I wanted to be stubborn. I am blessed to have a caring, loving, serving husband!
The current due date for our child is 27th of may. I say current, because well it can change sometimes depending on the growth of the baby. But also, babies come on their own time as they say.
We are excited to meet our little one, but there's still quite a long way to go.
Moving to Estonia
If you have followed my social media, you already know that news. But if not, well - we are moving to Estonia!!!
Today, marks 100 days until we fly away from this beautiful country. Yes, I have a countdown times. Because of several reasons. 1. I like to know how much time we still have to figure everything out, to say bye to friends, to organize things. 2. How much time until I can see my family again whom I haven't seen for 2 years now!
Our decision to move to Estonia didn't come easy. First, God put it on my heart. Me missing my family, and while researching benefits in Australia vs Estonia regarding children, looking at education and so on, God started to speak to me. And I started to pray that He'd confirm this. Or that I'd know for sure that we need to go. A while later I mentioned that to Peter that we should pray about that. Because I didn't want this to be just me hearing from God, but that Peter would know for sure too. Together, and separate, we prayed and waited. For God to speak and confirm and give us peace about either staying or leaving. And after several months or prayers, thoughts and discussions - we had peace about Estonia. We made a decision that this is where we feel God calling us. During those months I didn't tell Peter what God had shown me as a picture. Because God told me not to. We didn't tell friends or family that we were praying about that because we didn't want to be influenced by them. We wanted to just hear from God. And He heard our prayers.
This is going to be hard on both of us. All change usually is. To Peter, this is going to be the second time in real life meeting his in-laws! The first time was when he visited Estonia for 4 days and we weren't even officially dating yet! Now, we are flying over there and staying with my parents at first. It's also going to be a challenge for both of us, as my parents don't speak English. They understand some words, but it's going to be mostly me translating.
There's also going to be Peter getting used to the cold, and well guess that me too. Because I have been away for 2 years now. 1 year in Denmark and now in Australia. We still have a lot to do. What to bring, what to give away, what to sell. What do we need to organize on Australian side before leaving (banks, phones etc), what do we need to do in Estonia once there and so on. Who do we still need and want to meet before we go? We will certainly miss our family here, our friends, our new church. I'll miss the mountains and ocean. But there's also so so much to look forward to!
We know it is a challenging time for us. Not just pregnancy-wise, but also time to prepare and organize before moving to another country. But we have God, we have friends and family supporting us and cheering for us. We are blessed, but also growing in this time.
If you are reading this, we know that you are part of my life and our life. We hope that wherever we are or live, that you will keep in touch. At least I hope people don't forget about us. :) We love how many people are part of our lives and how we have been blessed with godly people beside us! Pray for us in this challenging and exciting time! Get in touch with us, if you are in Australia and would like to hang out before we leave!
Be blessed, dear readers! Until next time!