It's around 4am on a tuesday morning. I sit at our new kitchen table (new for us, but got it from a second hand), and take sips from my coffee (machine was a gift <3 ). Another morning where i couldn't sleep much. But it's alright. I wake up to my husband, every single day. It is a blessing, to be married. I am blessed, to have this incredible kind generous funny man in my life. But it has not been an easy road, as most of my readers know.
Very early to be typing something sensible, but thought to try still. After all, i must've left my readers wondering what has happened. Well after arriving in Australia, i was mostly occupied with wedding planning. Well to be honest, P-s mom did a LOT for us as our main wedding planner. But still, that doesn't mean i didn't spend hours on end on Pinterest drooling over wedding ideas. (guess who LOVES Pinterest? )
And just general getting used to life. Shopping for wedding stuff, but also trying to replace some things i had left behind. I came with just one big suitcase, you can imagine i didn't have much. But it is okay. I still lack some clothes, but i manage. After all, PJ's are acceptable clothing right? Especially if you don't go anywhere during the day.
Life got also a bit more busier as we started looking for a home for us. That is a huge step for both of us. We have no idea how we will pay the rent on a weekly basis (side note: in Estonia rent is payed monthly, same with utilities etc, here they pay rent weekly.). Or where do we get money for groceries, essentials, bills etc. BUT!!! And here's the big part in our lives. We went to see an apartment. I liked it. P was okay with it. And we prayed! That is so important. We prayed that if it is His will, we'd get it. We didn't. Not that one. We kept looking. And making appointment to another place. We saw it and it felt like home to me. P wasn't that sure, but again. We prayed. "Lord, if this is what you want for us, we ask that you'd be the one giving it to us, for we know if we get it, you'll also provide for us". We trust God with this. He couldn't give us something and then come through with providing for it. So we found a place for us that we now call home.
On 6th of august, i got up at 4am. Because that was our wedding day. It was amazing. Well, also a bit stressful. But mostly amazing. The moments when your hairstylist and make-up person arrive at 6:30ish in the morning. And you are still waking up. Our wedding went smoothly. I was ready before i needed to be and had to lounge around in my dress a bit. I had the honour of P-s dad walking me down to the church door, so we got to ride in a fancy vintage car together to the church. P-s dad walked me to the church door, where P was waiting for me. Little laugh for you guys too, i stumbled quite a bit on my dress. It was slightly too long and i had to shuffle and kick a bit :D But P, my now husband, waited for me at the door and we walked down the isle together. It was very emotional for me and surely a bit for P too. Oh, good news, if you haven't seen already on facebook, we have it recorded!!!! Our ceremony! Wanna cry too? Or just look? Here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXxv-NVhSKFtKzRUuQcFtQA1TkNu0QOPs
I know i cried a lot, but it was a big day and most of my tears are from happiness of being able to finally get married. But also tears of knowing how much we have worked for this, how blessed we have been with God and people around us supporting us. Surely there have been also people on this journey who have doubted us a bit, but mostly just asking "how do you guys do this long distance thing?".... Now, we are a short distance couple. So short that i am privileged to be able to fall asleep, my husband next to me. I feel safe, protected, and most of all, exactly where God wants me.
I will not go into details about honeymoon, as we are a couple who agreed that what happens in bedroom is between us. But we had an amazing cabin that we rented for 5 nights. We had no reception for phones, no internet, no tv-channels. Just us. And birds, nature, a creek flowing by next to our cabin, cows, and just relaxing time. We were blessed with amazing sunny weather and on the day we drove back it turned cloudy. We enjoyed our time away, but were also excited to move into our new home. I was here few nights beforehand, and P moved his clothes and all in after the honeymoon.
Now, a week and then some later of being married, i keep wondering, so what's that much different about just being in a relationship (like engaged or dating), to being married. And surely i can think of funny benefits. I never have to date again! Lol. That's the one thing i keep thinking often. How I never have to have awkward dates, get dressed up and get stood up, or anything else like that. Amazing benefit right?
Or another benefit, no more long distance relationship for us! No more time difference, where one is just waking up, the other person having afternoon tea break.
There's also some challenges that we have faced. Not all of life is pretty, happy, smiley goodness. I sure wish it was. But yes, all of life always includes troubles. Even Bible speaks about that in so many places. To expect disagreements, arguments, challenges. But to remind ourselves that God works everything together in the end. If it's not worked out, it's not the end. :)
But yes, challenges. Like different foods we like. Different personality types. Different time schedules (me morning person, him more of a night person). Disagreements of smallest things on how to do things. Not to mention women and their moods (referring to myself here). Like "i want this and i want it yesterday and i have no idea why, but i know i want it...." that sort of weird moods at times. How our emotions and hormones and whatever else can affect our needs, wants, longings. And sometimes, honest confession, just pure stubbornness to get what you personally want. Which might then later require some humbleness to apologize and admitting that you have been selfish. It's all good. We still love each other, we talk and forgive each other. We come together again and again and keep growing. We keep being shaped by our differences, so we'd fit together better. Like a rock that is in the seaside that is being shaped by waves that keep rushing over it, rubbing and rubbing. Not always pleasant procedure, but end results are nice smooth rocks. So it is with two people, keep rubbing each other the wrong way to make us fit together better. We grow, we learn and we love and pray.
Life is never perfect, but on those times when it is less than perfect, full of changes, new things and/or challenges, remember the blessings. Reminds me of a song, 10 000 reasons. Can you write out 10 000 reasons why we should be grateful and bless the Lord? How He has blessed us? Be it the laptop i have, internet with it, or even the smallest things like having indoor toilet with water in the morning, or roof over our heads. Or ability to read and write to share all this. I challenge you to be grateful. Within the waves of this life, the storms and rough times, write out the blessings, the things you are grateful for, the good that you see in people.