Waiting waiting

As i sit here with my 38 week pregnant belly in our new rental apartment, i realized i have forgotten to blog for quite a while. Nope, there won't be apologizing, because why? It's not an obligation. But more like a pleasure to me when i feel like it.
But lately, life has been a lot of waiting.

We moved to Estonia a bit over two months ago now. I was then 27 weeks pregnant, and well flying was uncomfortable even back then. Airport walks were tiring, patience was running low. But we made it. We made it to Estonia which was just coming out of winter. Peter was able to experience all the "joys" of Estonian weather. Meaning, it was all over the place. He got to see sleet, rain, and snow, in a very short time. And he loved seeing proper snow!

At first we lived at my parents house, we had plenty of space. But my growing belly didn't like the long distance between public transport and our home. And i was really wanting to be on our own before baby comes. And it wasn't an easy wait to have. You already have to wait for baby to finish "cooking" and to come out, but also waiting and searching for a home that you can afford, when you have barely settled in Estonia, with me having no income, it was challenging. I looked for weeks, almost daily, at apartments. And due to the fact that i was pregnant, we couldn't just go and see ALL the apartments. In reality we didn't go and see any of them. Because we weren't sure if it was God's timing. Funny thing when you are a christian. You get this desire to do things, to go places, to have your own home, but then you aren't sure if He wants you to have it like right now. So we kept praying that if it is His will and His timing, that it would be very obvious.

My family was also aware that we wanted to find a home. And then one day my sister told me that her husband's moms apartment is free. And immediately, i got excited. Peter not so much. :D I mean, of course he wanted to move too, but i knew that he has always struggled with change. And we had just settled into my parents house. But we went to see it. And it is in a really good location. There's three or four big shops close by, lot of nature around, bus stop right next to the house. And the best part for our finances, it was way cheaper than other places we had looked at. So long story short, we took that.
We moved in rather quickly. And i am glad we did. Still to this day there are things needing to be done in this apartment. Cleaning, putting things the way we want them and all that. And me with my very big growing belly can't do much until i am out of breath. So Peter has been so loving and kind and doing most of the things. But i feel so blessed that we found this right before baby comes along. Our own little place.

And of course, there's more waiting to be done. The baby. Baby has caused lately high blood pressure. I haven't publicly shared about that, but we've been to the emergency room quite a bit. And i am so glad that the hospital we chose, has separate emergency for women (pregnant or otherwise women issues). That means you don't have to spend ages trying to get seen with all the injured and sick people in normal ER. But there's still a lot of waiting to be done.
We always pack snacks, because well, i'm pregnant :D But for example, last time we got there at 9:15. Got seen by the reception at 9:44, and finished with everything and was sent home after 12. So quite a long time waiting. Being anxious. Thinking all those thoughts that a pregnant third trimester woman can thing (are they gonna induce me? emergency c-section? staying in for monitoring? ...). It's tough trusting God in these times. But throughout this pregnancy that's exactly what i have had to do. Every single day i have to trust that our baby is okay. I can sometimes feel her moving, but not always. And i can't see her or touch her to make sure she is okay. So i must trust God. And wait. And wait.

There will always be things to wait for. Be it a vacation, financial breakthrough, healing, answer to prayer, or even just a bus. Our lives are consisting of waiting moments. It will be our choices how we spend them. Either we choose to worry and fret, or to give up control, let go and let God take over. Preaching to myself here too. Still learning that. But it's something that has been rather prominent in our lives lately.

Baby is roaming around my tummy, streching her foot close to my ribs. Little under two weeks until official due date. I wonder when will she come? How will we manage? It's scary enough growing a human inside you, but once they are out, things get more real. Keep us in your prayers that we'd be ready for labour and delivery, but mostly for parenting.

Hopefully, next blog will be written once she is here! Can't wait, but will :)

Add comment