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2:31 - A.K.A mental health rant again.

It's 8:50pm previous night and i feel i can't stay awake. We stop the sermon we were listening and Peter sends me off to bed. I fall asleep quickly. That hasn't been a problem most times. Falling asleep part is easy.

1:20am. First time opening my eyes after Peter got to bed. I am immediately frustrated. NO! It's too early. I try closing my eyes and toss for about an hour.

2:31am. I have given up and have gotten out of bed and turn on living room light. Making coffee is a hassle. Making anything is hard. Lack of sleep has caused so many problems.

***

It's way too early,  but here i am....

Too much...

2:49. My mind doesn't want to accept that number on my phone. 2:49. And i am awake at this hour. Can't really call it a morning, but what else would you call it. I again explain to my husband - "i can't sleep...", kiss him, and leave him to sleep. Getting up to get coffee. My brain wide awake ready for well everything. Before i reach the toilet, my mind is already racing with million thoughts. Before i get to the coffee machine or a glass of water, well the plan for this day has been made, remade and replanned several times. So many thoughts, with so little energy. My body is tired of my...

Marriage is a half untucked bed

I originally planned to write this almost a month ago. But Peter, my lovely husband and it-man, was doing updates on my site. Anyway, as i was changing bed sheets one day and noticed something. Like the picture above. This is how the end of our bed looks like. I realized that we had learned to compromise in marriage. Not just that, but to accommodate each others quirks and wishes.

Society shows us movies and animations about wonderful love, and how everything looks like a fairytale right? Maybe since you were a little girl (or a little boy ?), you dreamed that one day that special someone...

I'm sorry...

Dermatillomania/excoriation/SPD/BFRB - today's honest talk. WARNING: contains details of self-harm.... 
Before i continue, know that this is not easy for me to share. But i want to spread some awareness. Awareness of what people deal with. Sometimes for decades without having solutions, without telling others, without even close friends noticing anything. I am gonna tell you about my secret. And after i press publish on this, it's more of a public secret. No, not a secret no more. I don't want to hide behind these masks that i have built myself, thinking "Oh, i got this" or "i'll get over...

Fighting turkeys, sandy shoes and 4am coffee

It's been a while since I've written, again. And surely there's always plenty going on in my head. But as always i must choose what to put here and what not.

  • I won't tell you about married life, because well it's a long topic. But most times it's amazing. God is good and so are rough spots. Because through them we grow, we are shaped and molded to be better together. Life is nice together. But more about that maybe some other time.
  • Had a birthday, missed my family, had some gifts. Also not the topic for this time.
  • Made all sorts of foods, learned new things, had adventures and outings,...

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