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Australia vs Estonia

Hey again, my dear readers. Often i do wonder how many people read this. So encouraging to hear feedback from people, so leave me comments or if you see this on Facebook, comment there or press that like button. And also, if you think someone you know might love reading my blog, share then :)

Anyway, the title might make you think oh this might be competition. Nope, not in any way am i gonna be able to make two wonderful countries compete. Same way it is not a comparison. Well not entirely. It's more like me and my keen observing eyes and what has been seen through my eyes over the last...

Blessed time with challenges

It's around 4am on a tuesday morning. I sit at our new kitchen table (new for us, but got it from a second hand), and take sips from my coffee (machine was a gift <3 ). Another morning where i couldn't sleep much. But it's alright. I wake up to my husband, every single day. It is a blessing, to be married. I am blessed, to have this incredible kind generous funny man in my life. But it has not been an easy road, as most of my readers know.

Very early to be typing something sensible, but thought to try still. After all, i must've left my readers wondering what has happened. Well after...

2 weeks later...

I open my eyes to hear again the sound of monkeys as the sun gets ready for the day, so does the nature. It sounds like monkeys, but by now i know they aren't. They are fun birds that just make the sound of a monkey to my ears. They are called kookaburra's. I don't want to leave my bed as mornings are cold still. You wouldn't expect that from Australia, as it's commercially usually shown as a sunny place. It is, mostly. But sunny doesn't always mean warm. So how has life been down under? Let me tell you.

I arrive after long travel in Sydney airport, relieved that my long journey is getting...

Self-harm and anxiety

I really can't remember if i have previously shared about this. But i have a problem. I hurt myself.

When i speak of self-harm most people first think of cutting. Like you see teenagers do with razors or other sharp things. In my case that's not it. Self-harm can be anything that is hurtful to you. Be it from physical harm like cutting, burning, hair pulling, starving etc... to mental like comparing yourself to others, criticizing yourself and so on. There is so many different forms of self harm, but i want to openly share about mine.
If you think this is ridiculous and disgusting, you are...

7 - 27 - 14 % - 68. Read to understand what numbers mean.

7.

For about the last 7 days, i have been mentally really in a bad place. I have blogged previously about anxiety and such. Well this last week has been way worse than every before. My anxiety got to a point where i almost daily cried. Where fear and tension was my daily companion. One day also had a panic attack. That moment when your fears and worries take over your mind and you start crying and crying turns into some sort of breathing weirdness. Not entirely hyperventilating, but like you don't have enough air. You feel paralyzed and weak. Not that you would actually be paralyzed, but...

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