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2 weeks later...

I open my eyes to hear again the sound of monkeys as the sun gets ready for the day, so does the nature. It sounds like monkeys, but by now i know they aren't. They are fun birds that just make the sound of a monkey to my ears. They are called kookaburra's. I don't want to leave my bed as mornings are cold still. You wouldn't expect that from Australia, as it's commercially usually shown as a sunny place. It is, mostly. But sunny doesn't always mean warm. So how has life been down under? Let me tell you.

I arrive after long travel in Sydney airport, relieved that my long journey is getting...

Self-harm and anxiety

I really can't remember if i have previously shared about this. But i have a problem. I hurt myself.

When i speak of self-harm most people first think of cutting. Like you see teenagers do with razors or other sharp things. In my case that's not it. Self-harm can be anything that is hurtful to you. Be it from physical harm like cutting, burning, hair pulling, starving etc... to mental like comparing yourself to others, criticizing yourself and so on. There is so many different forms of self harm, but i want to openly share about mine.
If you think this is ridiculous and disgusting, you are...

7 - 27 - 14 % - 68. Read to understand what numbers mean.

7.

For about the last 7 days, i have been mentally really in a bad place. I have blogged previously about anxiety and such. Well this last week has been way worse than every before. My anxiety got to a point where i almost daily cried. Where fear and tension was my daily companion. One day also had a panic attack. That moment when your fears and worries take over your mind and you start crying and crying turns into some sort of breathing weirdness. Not entirely hyperventilating, but like you don't have enough air. You feel paralyzed and weak. Not that you would actually be paralyzed, but...

Home - 34 - stuff&things - 5%

The title is rather strange, i know. But let me explain.

  1. I'll start from the 34. There's 34 days until school is over! Oh wow! I am not sure how to react, how to feel. In some ways i am surprised that OH WOW how fast this year has gone. Also how much i have grown. How much things have changed. My feelings, thoughts, my whole being, my life. Everything. Also how much i have learned, about me mostly. But also about what i believe. Mostly though about how it's so so important to firstly give yourself grace. To take time to REST! Rest is so so important. How to allow, yes allow yourself to...

Growing pains

It's a rainy saturday morning, i have candles lit to comfort me, as i have just said again goodbye to my long distance love who was with me in college for a month. I am sad, yet i feel that it has been a good month. Also very very challenging and hard month. Challenging is such a christian word though. We use it often instead of saying problem, like we would be afraid of problems. So we say it's challenging, instead of trouble, or problem. Anyway, yes, it has been troubling, hard, emotional, tough, challenging, but also good, growing, developing, learning month with Peter.

Before i met...

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