depression

New meds, loads of side effects and Peter visiting!

So for the last, emm... maybe three weeks, no. Yes, more or less. Maybe four. Anyway, almost a month, i've been on new medication. It's called Sertrone, or Sertrolin. Active ingredient is serotonin. It's for my anxiety, social anxiety, small panic and stuff like that. I got diagnosed with GAD, which is general anxiety disorder. It was too hard living with it on my own and trying to cope and just deal with it, and for a long time i thought i could be strong and handle it. Like usually. But it didn't pass. And i couldn't handle myself. So i though to give meds a try.
Well sad thing is, like...

Expressing your inner most thoughts

I can tell you this is not easy. In no way what is going on in my head is easy. I don't say this to get pity, or even sympathy. No, i say that because it's true.

I woke up today at 2:45. Yes, in the middle of the night. Sweating. It is odd. I know. I looked at my phone to check the time. And thought to try sleeping more. I tried. For entire 15-20 minutes. While that time passed my mind was racing. I remembered an odd dream before i woke up about a pencil case and how it was so perfect. Random, i know. I also thought how i am so sick of being so sick. I thought about writing this and so now...

The blues

I wake up and feel, well to be honest terrible. I crawl out of my bed with aches and pains and my stomach feeling weird. I keep remember what a friend (H) said the other day. "Mirjam, have you thought that maybe this is God putting you through things so you might have the gift of prophecy, they had also a lot of struggles in the Bible. Prophetic people. " And i have constantly thought about that. I don't know what is wrong with me. And why. It is hard to even battle the mental stuff, but add the physical and i am just exhausted. I tried enjoying myself yesterday and then waking up today, i...

A christian having a depression

Here's the thing. Too many people don't get it. Don't get what it feels like to be me at times of cloudiness, rough days and all that. So let me explain. Maybe you know someone who has symptoms like i do. Or maybe you have. And maybe this helps you in either case.

Anyway, too often i've heard so much how people say the wrong things. I understand that sometimes you don't know what to say, but let me tell you what not to say to people with depression and anxiety.

Don't tell me to "just get better". Or "you just have to think happy thoughts". It makes me feel like i brought it on myself. Like...