Blessed time with challenges

It's around 4am on a tuesday morning. I sit at our new kitchen table (new for us, but got it from a second hand), and take sips from my coffee (machine was a gift <3 ). Another morning where i couldn't sleep much. But it's alright. I wake up to my husband, every single day. It is a blessing, to be married. I am blessed, to have this incredible kind generous funny man in my life. But it has not been an easy road, as most of my readers know.

Very early to be typing something sensible, but thought to try still. After all, i must've left my readers wondering what has happened. Well after...

7 - 27 - 14 % - 68. Read to understand what numbers mean.


For about the last 7 days, i have been mentally really in a bad place. I have blogged previously about anxiety and such. Well this last week has been way worse than every before. My anxiety got to a point where i almost daily cried. Where fear and tension was my daily companion. One day also had a panic attack. That moment when your fears and worries take over your mind and you start crying and crying turns into some sort of breathing weirdness. Not entirely hyperventilating, but like you don't have enough air. You feel paralyzed and weak. Not that you would actually be paralyzed, but...

Home - 34 - stuff&things - 5%

The title is rather strange, i know. But let me explain.

  1. I'll start from the 34. There's 34 days until school is over! Oh wow! I am not sure how to react, how to feel. In some ways i am surprised that OH WOW how fast this year has gone. Also how much i have grown. How much things have changed. My feelings, thoughts, my whole being, my life. Everything. Also how much i have learned, about me mostly. But also about what i believe. Mostly though about how it's so so important to firstly give yourself grace. To take time to REST! Rest is so so important. How to allow, yes allow yourself to...

Where are your eyes?

Something that is really close to my heart is being noticed, to be seen, to be someone. The feeling that you are appreciated, noticed, cherished, important, valued, that you matter.

Bible says to us:

"And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." - Matthew 10:30-31 (NLT)

I've seen people on streets, homeless, street kids and other less fortunate. I don't know why, but God has given me compassion for them. I know how hard it is to live with little money, yet i have never been homeless. So i can't say how...

Secrets hidden inside...

This is a VERY scary, open, vulnerable thing i am sharing. Might need tissues. Might be terrible to read. Proceed at your own risk.....
For quite a while i have thought if i should write this. And i think i will. Well i am. You know. This is hard thing for me to speak of, but i want you to know. You, who looks into my life through my blog. Even when we don't really talk regularly or aren't even like friends, but you just know me and find my writings interesting. Or you who is my friend and who knows me but not that much, so you read and hope to know me more. I won't come to...

Bible reading plans, options, ways

Over time, i have tried so many Bible reading plans and different ways to read/study the Bible. I can tell you that a lot of them have very high expectations to get things read. There are pros and cons for Bible reading plans. Here's some i thought of. Later i will share my *extensive* list of plans i've bookmarked over the time.


  • if you have no idea what to read, they will tell you.
  • if you have no idea how much to read, it helps
  • if you are looking for some special thing like "let's read through the Bible in a year or two", or "read 5 days a week" or whatever else, these help.
  • if you...

Lukewarmness and lack of passion

*Disclaimer, there's a lot of random mumble here, so if you want to get to the point, sorry, points take time... :D

Today has been one of those i don't want to do anything day. I took another sick day. Another meaning that i am so tired and not feeling well that i wouldn't have point in sitting through the classes. And if people would ask me am i sick, well in some ways yes. I mean, i have this cough, but that's not why i am sick. I have some deficiencies and that's what makes me sick.
Did you know that the vitamin thing, you can have SO many symptoms without knowing that it's a vitamin...


For recent weeks, no, i think more like months, i have felt like i have been attacked. Not that someone had attacked me, no-no! But that me as a person have been under attack. Not by people, but by problems. See i've been sick. I can't tell you i have been VERY sick, because you might assume then that i have cancer or something. Which i don't. Not that i know of at least (sorry for my morbid humour here). Anyway, my health has been rather strange. And as a soul, spiritual being as we are as humans, it's rather annoying to be in a non-functional body. I feel the terrible need to fix it. To...


I wrote this in about 2010 for my baptism. My parents were there and this is the first time they heard a lot of this. It was emotional and beautiful for me. My family is not christian (yet!). So i put this just out there to give an idea of where i come from. There's MUCH more that has happened, but not everything has space to be here. But this is the biggest thing that God has done for me. Saved me!


The story of how God got me out of devils hands/claws? (have to use my dictionary here and see the right word..) Yep claws it was.

So let's just go waaayyy back in time to 1985, see that's...