ldr

2 weeks later...

I open my eyes to hear again the sound of monkeys as the sun gets ready for the day, so does the nature. It sounds like monkeys, but by now i know they aren't. They are fun birds that just make the sound of a monkey to my ears. They are called kookaburra's. I don't want to leave my bed as mornings are cold still. You wouldn't expect that from Australia, as it's commercially usually shown as a sunny place. It is, mostly. But sunny doesn't always mean warm. So how has life been down under? Let me tell you.

I arrive after long travel in Sydney airport, relieved that my long journey is getting...

7 - 27 - 14 % - 68. Read to understand what numbers mean.

7.

For about the last 7 days, i have been mentally really in a bad place. I have blogged previously about anxiety and such. Well this last week has been way worse than every before. My anxiety got to a point where i almost daily cried. Where fear and tension was my daily companion. One day also had a panic attack. That moment when your fears and worries take over your mind and you start crying and crying turns into some sort of breathing weirdness. Not entirely hyperventilating, but like you don't have enough air. You feel paralyzed and weak. Not that you would actually be paralyzed, but...

Growing pains

It's a rainy saturday morning, i have candles lit to comfort me, as i have just said again goodbye to my long distance love who was with me in college for a month. I am sad, yet i feel that it has been a good month. Also very very challenging and hard month. Challenging is such a christian word though. We use it often instead of saying problem, like we would be afraid of problems. So we say it's challenging, instead of trouble, or problem. Anyway, yes, it has been troubling, hard, emotional, tough, challenging, but also good, growing, developing, learning month with Peter.

Before i met...

New meds, loads of side effects and Peter visiting!

So for the last, emm... maybe three weeks, no. Yes, more or less. Maybe four. Anyway, almost a month, i've been on new medication. It's called Sertrone, or Sertrolin. Active ingredient is serotonin. It's for my anxiety, social anxiety, small panic and stuff like that. I got diagnosed with GAD, which is general anxiety disorder. It was too hard living with it on my own and trying to cope and just deal with it, and for a long time i thought i could be strong and handle it. Like usually. But it didn't pass. And i couldn't handle myself. So i though to give meds a try.
Well sad thing is, like...

Australia (part 5)

2nd january continues.

We left off with some cows and us on our way to another lookout.
At one point during my stay there, i forgot to mention this thing. Peter, my dear Peter, he did something so adorable! He learned how to make coffee just the way i like it. Not like just press a button on a machine, no, no! He ground some beans, put them in the thing where you put ground beans, press them, put that in a coffee machine. Make espresso, foam milk, and make all that into cappuccino for me! How adorable!
Sidetrack a bit from our adventures, but just had to mention. I really see small things...

AUSTRALIA (part 4)

We left off where we just got splashed with water. Well now comes new years eve! First time ever that i have new years eve in a)in another country; b) in another continent; c) in a warm climate! :D Haa! So many firsts through this trip.

So what do you do when you have nothing to do on the last day of the year? Well we went to the cinemas to start with. Watched Good Dinosaur. If i were a kid, i would've cried. (well i'm an adult, i still cry at the movies. Sometimes.). So we saw that. After that we went to have lunch for one of the gifts that we got for christmas, it was a voucher or...

Australia (part 3)

Where were we... oh yes, christmas was celebrated properly now in a warm Australian weather.

Next day (29th of december) Peter's mum and sis took me out wanting to spend some "girl" time with me :) We went to have coffee at Artista i think it was called. Apparently one of the best coffee places in town. And yes it was good, but i had had already two big coffees at home. And third one there was a bit too much, but at least it was a good one! Then we went "op-shopping" as Australians call it. Which for other people who don't know what that means, is second hand shops. We went to quite...

AUSTRALIA (part 2)

---the story continues.
It's the 26th of december, and again i wake up to strange sounds. My motel is located close to the golf course, which means more animals there. And by the sounds i have no idea, if it's monkey, or a bird or whatever. Kinda strange, but not scared. I know how before going to Australia, people are like "oh, you know there's like poisonous stuff there, like frogs, snakes and such?!". Me "Yup, i know!" :) I mean, i have never been afraid of nature. On the contrary. In my country, Estonia, you go to the forest, you can touch animals, they are fine, mostly they run from...

In Between

The title of this article is one that I came up with when I started writing this, but Peter realised that it's also the name of a Daniel Kirkley song which is quite appropriate to our situation - two people with their differences, but united by love. We thought that was cool :)

This is a part two of sorts for Peter's and my ongoing love story.

Mirjam

People have often asked me all sorts of questions about our relationship. How do you guys cope? Wait, you have dates with him, how? Isn't it hard? It must be hard?! And so many more. And that got me thinking, how do we actually do the in...

Peter and I

The following is the story of how Peter and I met and fell in love. It will take you approximately 45 minutes to read entirely, so settle in and enjoy (or read it in sections at your leisure).

Sections

Online Dating History

Mirjam

My dating history online isn't that long, but there have been few...