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Too much...

2:49. My mind doesn't want to accept that number on my phone. 2:49. And i am awake at this hour. Can't really call it a morning, but what else would you call it. I again explain to my husband - "i can't sleep...", kiss him, and leave him to sleep. Getting up to get coffee. My brain wide awake ready for well everything. Before i reach the toilet, my mind is already racing with million thoughts. Before i get to the coffee machine or a glass of water, well the plan for this day has been made, remade and replanned several times. So many thoughts, with so little energy. My body is tired of my...

7 - 27 - 14 % - 68. Read to understand what numbers mean.

7.

For about the last 7 days, i have been mentally really in a bad place. I have blogged previously about anxiety and such. Well this last week has been way worse than every before. My anxiety got to a point where i almost daily cried. Where fear and tension was my daily companion. One day also had a panic attack. That moment when your fears and worries take over your mind and you start crying and crying turns into some sort of breathing weirdness. Not entirely hyperventilating, but like you don't have enough air. You feel paralyzed and weak. Not that you would actually be paralyzed, but...

Support

A while ago i shared how i don't have jobs anymore. I used to have two, for those who didn't hear that news. But for two different reasons, i don't have them anymore. Which means, i only rely on support. I do try to not spend, well almost anything, because i don't have my own income anymore. But i am still surviving! Yes, that is a word i'd use, because well it is very "challenging" to live like this. I use the word challenging, because using a word problematic or hard, isn't usually shared in christian circles. But it is very hard. I don't say this because you'd feel pity on me. I share...