Moving, Hospitals and Anxiety
In the background playing this
But what i wanted to write (when i am not singing along to the songs :D ), is that i am praising God!!! For several reasons.
1. I AM BACK IN MY ROOM! I lived in the guesthouse for a week and a half and during that time my room got renovated. I have more or less all new furniture, carpet on the floor now, new sink with cupboard under it and above it, new shelves, bed, nightstand, table, even trash can! I am very happy! And i think i did a personal moving record. I have moved a lot in my life. But this time moved from guesthouse back to my room all of my stuff and unpacked and put things to their places in 3 hours! Felt very very productive! So yes, very nice to be back to my normal routine and normal things. Not sure why, but somehow with so little time here, this place feels like my fortress, my home. :)
2. Hospitals. Well this week i have been to two. But i’ll only share about one. And it’s not so much about what they do, but me tripping around in a strange country. :D My doc took some blood samples a while ago and some of my liver things were over the “norm”. Whatever that was. And since her english isn’t the best, she couldn’t exactly tell me what was it. So she sent me to liver ultrasound. And asked if i am drinking (alcohol). Nope, not for the last emm 6 years. :) Proud of that. Not a drop. So she said nothing to worry about, but of course this anxiety woman comes to worst conclusions in the first minute. And googled too much (which usually ends up that you are killing yourself somehow. Don’t google your health problems). Anyway ultrasound of my stomach was very uncomfortable. Getting there wasn’t. I was surprised how i didn’t get lost and didn’t get any anxiety. :) Yay! Small awards for not panicking. Anyway, the ultrasound itself is uncomfortable because they have to see some of the things that are hiding exactly between two ribs, and pressing there with the ultrasound thing, is rather uncomfortable. And well rubbing the gel thing over you isn’t that pleasant either. But i survived. Nothing too painful. The other hospital visit is also health problem, but just something that i keep only to close people. Those who know, well they know.
3. Anxiety. Well i am now officially on meds. For years i was against medication. Because i’ve been down that road before. I was previously on antidepressants (AD in the future) for almost 10 years, and it ended up me wanting to kill myself. Not nice. And doctors didn’t really fix me. So yes, i quit at one point and tried surviving without it. Occasionally trying natural things. Well besides prayer. For example St John’s Wort is one thing that has worked on me. And well active life (go for a walk regularly) and eating better helps too. But yes, tried being against medicine for a long time due to previous doctors who didn’t want to dig deeper what would suit me. They would just write me a prescription, go buy that, try this, up the dosage, not working? Well slowly decrease again, try this now. And over and over again this. So one point i’ve had enough. And was without medicine i think 5 years. Yes more or less.
But now, with my anxiety and other people encouraging also, saying medicine isn’t bad and having a pretty decent general practicioner (GP), i am now on medicine and meet with her regularly to see how they work.
If people ask me is it working, well it’s too soon to tell. I can say that first two days, that was like i was high. :D I was laughing at almost everything, things made me giggle i don’t know who that woman was. :D Then it calmed down and rest of the week was neutral again. But at least not bad. Second week is going on right now and doc upped my dosage a bit. Now i actually feel some days that like a curtain has been lifted from my eyes. But will see in the longer run.
Me and Peter have now done my part of the visa application and it is paid for now. (we owe some money) And now we are working on Peter’s part, adding additional proof of our relationship and all that. So please please pray for miracles to get this accepted and approved before june! (we’d love to get married this summer/Australian winter). We put this in God’s hands and hope that we can later testify of how He had everything in plan already and how things will work out quicker than we can even expect. :)
PS! You see the ticker on my front page? 18 days until i get to be with the love of my life again!!! <3 Hope to write before again, but if not, please pray for his travel, sleeping on the plane, and good time in the school!
Both of our finances and income need prayers too, if you don’t mind! Thank you!
Until next time, be blessed!