It’s been a while since I’ve written, again. And surely there’s always plenty going on in my head. But as always i must choose what to put here and what not. I won’t tell you about married life, because well it’s a long topic. But most times it’s amazing. God is good and so are rough spots. Because through them we grow, we are shaped and molded to be better together.
Hey again, my dear readers. Often i do wonder how many people read this. So encouraging to hear feedback from people, so leave me comments or if you see this on Facebook, comment there or press that like button. And also, if you think someone you know might love reading my blog, share then :) Anyway, the title might make you think oh this might be competition. Nope, not in any way am i gonna be able to make two wonderful countries compete.
It’s around 4am on a tuesday morning. I sit at our new kitchen table (new for us, but got it from a second hand), and take sips from my coffee (machine was a gift <3 ). Another morning where i couldn’t sleep much. But it’s alright. I wake up to my husband, every single day. It is a blessing, to be married. I am blessed, to have this incredible kind generous funny man in my life.
I open my eyes to hear again the sound of monkeys as the sun gets ready for the day, so does the nature. It sounds like monkeys, but by now i know they aren’t. They are fun birds that just make the sound of a monkey to my ears. They are called kookaburra’s. I don’t want to leave my bed as mornings are cold still. You wouldn’t expect that from Australia, as it’s commercially usually shown as a sunny place.
7. For about the last 7 days, i have been mentally really in a bad place. I have blogged previously about anxiety and such. Well this last week has been way worse than every before. My anxiety got to a point where i almost daily cried. Where fear and tension was my daily companion. One day also had a panic attack. That moment when your fears and worries take over your mind and you start crying and crying turns into some sort of breathing weirdness.
The title is rather strange, i know. But let me explain. I’ll start from the 34. There’s 34 days until school is over! Oh wow! I am not sure how to react, how to feel. In some ways i am surprised that OH WOW how fast this year has gone. Also how much i have grown. How much things have changed. My feelings, thoughts, my whole being, my life. Everything. Also how much i have learned, about me mostly.
It’s a rainy saturday morning, i have candles lit to comfort me, as i have just said again goodbye to my long distance love who was with me in college for a month. I am sad, yet i feel that it has been a good month. Also very very challenging and hard month. Challenging is such a christian word though. We use it often instead of saying problem, like we would be afraid of problems.
So for the last, emm… maybe three weeks, no. Yes, more or less. Maybe four. Anyway, almost a month, i’ve been on new medication. It’s called Sertrone, or Sertrolin. Active ingredient is serotonin. It’s for my anxiety, social anxiety, small panic and stuff like that. I got diagnosed with GAD, which is general anxiety disorder. It was too hard living with it on my own and trying to cope and just deal with it, and for a long time i thought i could be strong and handle it.
5th of january. My time in Australia is starting to end. With this post it will end and we have to part ways, but first…. few more adventures. We start the day by driving to town again, to resize my ring. Then head off to Urunga, where we’d hope we could go for a boat ride. BUT turns out they have no boats to hire anymore. We head down to the seaside and just have a walk.