It’s been a little over a month since my last blog post. And it’s been (as always) a learning time. Until we meet Jesus face to face, i don’t think we’ll ever stop learning. First of all. Apologies are in order. I have realized that last time me sharing how you “should” start your day right, might work for some people, but not so well for others. In the last month i have met many wonderful people and thinking of them, made me think, rethink, and apologize.
Since the things i want to share are rather long, then this is gonna be series of blog posts. Firstly, i ask that you would pray. Take that moment for prayer and ask God what He wants to show you through this blog post. He has put so so much on my heart lately and i am excited to share that with you! *** General idea of these blog posts are about us as Christians being stuck in old things.
These two things in the title, they really don’t fit together. One of them is something that i have learned from early age. To be sorry. For almost anything. Just to be safe you say it more often than you really need to. Just so you wouldn’t cause others hurt, or maybe even before hurt comes you say “sorry” before every other sentence, opinion or comment. The other part - being unapologetic - is something I REALLY REALLY still need to learn.
Check your thoughts I am sitting in our new/old home, i am happy! I really am! And why? For so many reasons to call myself blessed. But more on that later. For now, i want you to think about something. If you are female, you can more than likely relate to the body-image struggles. You see EVERYWHERE skinny people. You might think that you are fat, disgusting, wobbly, could loose some weight, not fit, need to exercise and/or diet.
Last i wrote it was november i think, and nope - not sorry that i haven’t written. Rather have been living my life. And yes, a lot has happened in between. So what has really happened for those who aren’t that close to us, might not even know? Well… We have been to New Zealand for a week. God covered all the costs, BUT it wasn’t a good trip. Let me explain.
It’s 8:50pm previous night and i feel i can’t stay awake. We stop the sermon we were listening and Peter sends me off to bed. I fall asleep quickly. That hasn’t been a problem most times. Falling asleep part is easy. 1:20am. First time opening my eyes after Peter got to bed. I am immediately frustrated. NO! It’s too early. I try closing my eyes and toss for about an hour.
2:49. My mind doesn’t want to accept that number on my phone. 2:49. And i am awake at this hour. Can’t really call it a morning, but what else would you call it. I again explain to my husband - “i can’t sleep…”, kiss him, and leave him to sleep. Getting up to get coffee. My brain wide awake ready for well everything. Before i reach the toilet, my mind is already racing with million thoughts.
I originally planned to write this almost a month ago. But Peter, my lovely husband and it-man, was doing updates on my site. Anyway, as i was changing bed sheets one day and noticed something. Like the picture above. This is how the end of our bed looks like. I realized that we had learned to compromise in marriage. Not just that, but to accommodate each others quirks and wishes.
Dermatillomania/excoriation/SPD/BFRB - today’s honest talk. WARNING: contains details of self-harm…. Before i continue, know that this is not easy for me to share. But i want to spread some awareness. Awareness of what people deal with. Sometimes for decades without having solutions, without telling others, without even close friends noticing anything. I am gonna tell you about my secret. And after i press publish on this, it’s more of a public secret.
It’s been a while since I’ve written, again. And surely there’s always plenty going on in my head. But as always i must choose what to put here and what not. I won’t tell you about married life, because well it’s a long topic. But most times it’s amazing. God is good and so are rough spots. Because through them we grow, we are shaped and molded to be better together.